Since you told me the story of your long-hoped-for reunion, I have (as the great saints might say) rejoiced exceedingly! Over and over I have celebrated what God is presently unfolding to you.
Also, maybe you can help me with something. Do you remember the time I gave all the guys in our small group so much crap for watching The Bachelor? Lately, and I'm not sure why, Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 10 keep returning to me. The heading in the NIV is, The Believer's Freedom:
"I have the right to do anything" you say - but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything" - but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.
To have one eye about things, a single vision to know God above everything, even the blessings of reconciled relationships, is to live purely and wholly in every circumstance of life. Listen to Sir Robert Southwell who was martyred for his faith at the age of 33 in the late 16th century:
Diversity begats confusion, and perfects not art.
It is difficult to imitate even one thing correctly.
Graft your thoughts into some good stock.
Suck the sap from a fruitful root.
Change of juices does not ripen, but rots the fruit.
He who is familiar to all is friend to none.
You will never be your own, if always with everybody.
Among many strangers, you will have but few friends.
Transplant not your mind into such varieties;
suffer it to take root in some one soil.
Plants frequently transplanted sooner wither than blossom.
It is an unwholesome appetite that tastes of everything and relishes nothing.
He who sips of all and sticks to none is unsteady of heart.
Recall then your senses.
Restrain your wandering mind.
Think upon a new course.
Count yourself worthy of something to which you may in future adhere.
Be at home somewhere and live there by rule;
then go forth to other places, like a guest looking towards a home.
Am I living spiritually bipolar? Thankful to God for blessing me while transplanting myself from soil to soil? Do I practice the spiritual life in season only? Do I hop from book to book, from quote to quote, from blog to blog sipping someone else's juice so I don't have to sit still at home in my own interior world?
Maybe I wanted to write to you specifically because you are in a place of opportunity. What is it like to receive such a gift from God yet hold it loosely? How do you worship our Lord alone, anticipating even more of Him, yet without the expectation of more blessing?
I hear that throwing myself humbly upon the mercy of God is the only path.
Maybe we could listen together over coffee?
